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I’m Mrs. she’s too big now she’s too thin [entries|friends|calendar]
Jade Angel

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i have my moments [04-27-15 @ 8:51am]
As is life, I have good days and bad. My anxiety is kicking my butt. I know I'll be OK. It's not like this is the first time I've been alone. We were only together this time around for a year and 1/2 and he walked out about 5 times. Usually for a week. The time he went to jail it was about a month before he steady contacted me. So far a week and nothing from him. Again he's staying with his mom. Which yeah. Nuts.. A house full of them. So f him f her.
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cry [04-27-15 @ 12:40am]
I'm pretty sure that my heart is beyond broken and I feel completely lost and empty. And no one cares or even notices.
I don't think it's him. I think it's the being alone
I mean I know I love him but his mood swings kill me. He just walks out like it's nothing. And accuses me of cheating, lying- everything because he does it. He bad mouths me and lies to his mom about me. His mom is just as bat shit crazy as he is.
Watching Bates motel again today reminded me of Joe n his mom so so much..-- sorry again my thoughts are all over the place and I think I'm going to post a lot more on here.. Feels safe
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i just don't know [04-25-15 @ 6:38pm]
I feel as though I'm losing my mind. Why did I ever take him back? To give him the chance to do what he did? Walk out on us while we were out of town. To give him the chance to steal from me. From my kids.i know he was cheating. No pool guy works from 6-8 6 days per week. I think I'm just scared to be alone. I feel unwanted. Unloved. Stupid. I hate him so much
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tummy tuck [10-15-14 @ 12:20pm]
Finally got had a tummy tuck done last wed , and things have had there ups and downs. Joe was an ass right before and was even going to go to work while I was under the knife the day of the surgery when my mom claimed her discussed by this. So then he decided to go to work before the surgery . he stayed the night of and went to work the next day and my daughter stayed with me. After going home things have had there ups and downs. He's not really been loving at all and even accuses me of cheating. Hello I have tubes in my @@@@@@.. So i found out he was flirting with a basty girl online.. Like almost naked on some pictures. First lie was his pocket must of liked the pictures and stuff. Then it was because he liked something said. Finally he said the girl used to work with him and he had to help her, blah blah blah.. Finally I call him out on the fact that it's not even her real name and he goes crazy.. Saying I'm having other men take me to the hospital and all this other crap.. And how he's leaving tonight.. I'm over the bullshit.. As much as it'll hurt I hope he just goes.. Guess we'll see..
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[09-26-14 @ 12:19am]
So for four nights now Joe has been cold to me. I can't say or do anything with out him going off on me threatening to leave. Which the first two nights he didn't stay here. I can't stop crying and I'm getting in trouble for that. I am starting to think the heart ache of losing him for good would be better.
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all i want to do is just cry [06-25-14 @ 4:23pm]
I've been crying all daddy. I just want to die..
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long time [07-26-13 @ 9:18pm]
Hum... Really not sure what to write :As always:...
Well I'm still in the middle of getting a divorce. It seems like it will never end, like ever. Sigh.... I hate him, he's a sicko, why can't it just be deleted!? Why so long just for a judge to ask if we both are done.. I know fighting over parental rights is the biggest reason. But he hasn't seen even really seen him in OVER 2 years and has made no effort to do as the judge stated.
The kids are good. KK is now 15 and just makes me prouder by the day... Tristen is 13 and my lil computer need still *LOL*, and Ethan is well Ethan :/
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[11-15-11 @ 6:41pm]
Where to start... So I am still single,! I allowed Ryan to walk with us on Halloween but he also brought his bitch of a mom... After that things have gone down hill faster. He sent me an email stating he was filing for divorce and going to file for visitations and stuff.. Well I'm waiting and still no papers...
Sorry for not updating a lot but I am always some where with my kids....
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[04-17-10 @ 8:10pm]
Milla's death was caused due to drowning. Her father was up all night playing video games. He laid Milla down for a nap without checking to make sure the door was locked at at. Milla's bed was right beside the door that went to the pool. Her father was sleeping in the living room. Hours later when he went to look for her he found her in the pool. There were no safety measures takin to make sure this could not happen. In fact Milla had got out 4 other times that are known of and one time she locked her 1 year old brother outside, yet he still did nothing and now its too late.
Milla's mom gave the father custody thinking Milla and her brother had their own room because this is what he told her and at the time her mom was not in the place to keep them if he had a better place. She talked to him about the pool before and he laughed at her and everyone else saying how he knew what he was doing.
When drug tested the next day he tested positive for 3 different kinds of drugs.
The worst part is he is still free, there has been no Justice done. If this isn't neglect I don't know what is.
Please pass this along. Pool safety takes minutes and is not costly. Put plastic knobs on your door knobs, locks that you have to use keys on both sides, locked fences around the pool, and parents alert to where the child
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[03-14-10 @ 8:56pm]
So I'm doing Easter Bunny Pictures.. (((Same as Santa))) However the people that I work with are pretty dumb. One tried taking parcel credit for what I did. Gurr...
Ethan still has walking pneumonia. They also found out he has exama.
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game of trust [02-03-10 @ 10:39am]
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Feeling like a bitch today!!!! And loving it [01-07-10 @ 12:02pm]
[ mood | creative ]

LMAO!! Crazy online people make me laugh! Why would I give these drama whores all my info, I enjoy seeing them try to cry and bitch. LOL! Law Questions has the BEST drama! LOL. Its funny because all these dumb asses like to think they are something they are not. Yes my daddY (not daddIE you dumb bitch) is a lawyer and yes I have taken law classes as again I am. But I love how they think the old ass links they post are supported by every state and every city still. AKA laws are state by state, city by city and Judge by Judge. LMAO!!!
And wow I am correcting someones spelling!? Wow craziness. HEEHEE!!!
Usually I hate online drama but for this group I make an exception because they were rude to a friend of mine so......
Oh and the non spelling mod wants me to apologize or be banned. LOL. U can stick that community that has NO REAL LAWYERS in your ass. Oh wait the one mod is **STRAIGHT FROM HER PAGE** (((Today, one might call me a poverty lawyer))) What ever

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[12-24-09 @ 8:45am]
MERRY CHRISTMAS
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A good girl never asks why..... [10-12-09 @ 7:51am]
So life has calmed down some... I really don't want to write about any bad stuff so I will write about the good stuff and about the kids.
Saturday KK had her Hip Hop clinics to learn the whole routine. !!Which she loves!! They asked her to cross over to a sencond senior team to also fly, however I told them there is no way I can afford it I am doing fun raisers weekly now. They are trying to see if they can get her in free.
During KK's clinic, the boys and I went to Bella's party. It was so cute, they had it at an indoor bounce house place. :) EE actually ate a whole cup cake and icecream. Tristen also enjoyed himself of course.
After that it was time to run and get K and I was 1/2 late doing so. And then home to pack the kids to go to their grandparents house. They really had a good time over there this time, even KK who usually does not want to go.
What did mommy do on her night off!? Sleep of course, I am so freaking tired, I am just beyond sick of all the stupid stuff. Oh and got e-mails from Ryan's friend!!He is such an ass!! %%Eye roll%%
Last night EE had a bad night green foam and woke up 3 times at least. We went to the ER and they gave him a treatment there and sent him home saying if it continues then bring him back and they will admit him.
Nick was over yesterday helping me get the kitchen looking good. He will be over later today also. He is going to be moving to N.C soon. :( I am really going to miss him but I think it will be good for him. Plus he has a wonderful girl, only issue with her is she is beyond jelous of me.
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[09-16-09 @ 10:58am]
I just want to click my heels together and get my life back to normal. Normal husband, healthy kids.. I just want to be happy...........
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[09-09-09 @ 7:25pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]

How can I hate you and at the same time love you so much!? And you don't care about this mess you caused or even the fact that your son is beyond sick!? Please just let me know what I did so wrong that you turned out to be so sick.. Just remember one thing, I love my kids way more then I could ever love you.

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[09-06-09 @ 10:53am]
[ mood | crushed ]

So the shock has past, and so has the anger. Now i finally hit the hurt and depressed stage. I'm not going to lie and say I don't miss him, he was a big part of my life for so long, now I am empty.

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[07-13-09 @ 8:16am]
Waiting to hear if my mom got the new job!!!!!!!!!!! ITS KILLING ME!!!!!!!!
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[01-15-09 @ 6:56pm]
this years dance---does not really show Kay
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more in 1 hour [11-19-08 @ 9:48am]
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pix of 2 out of 3Collapse )
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